Recently I have had the unique opportunity to sneak away with my husband. During the week I had the days to myself while he had training. Hours to myself and no responsibilities.
I am a girl who needs to be doing something all the time. I mean even if I am sitting the t.v. has to be on or music playing. If you have talked to me for any length of time my hands are always moving around and I squirm like a child if I have been sitting too long.
I struggle to sit and dip in deep to God’s word and meditate because my mind wanders or overloads. He shows me I need to be still and some days I am blessed to last for 10 minutes at a time.
God has been digging deep into my heart the last few months with the purpose of pulling roots. I am continually in awe as He puts resources and people in my path to speak His truth in such a confirming way.
This past week I have had no choice but to embrace solitude. It is incredibly quiet and such an open door for God to do His work.
I have always wondered why I avoided solitude so much. I asked God to show me and as always he is faithful to answer. He revealed to me that I was fearful of what He would show me within myself. There are still deep places that need to be healed and my heart needs freeing. He showed me that I need to learn to get to know myself better, that I might like time with myself more if I loved myself the way He loved me.
There is something about being still before the Lord. No words need to be spoken because in those times my spirit speaks with His and I allow myself to feel everything that I need to. As I sit still before Him he fights for me in whatever battles I am facing. He affirms His love for me and shows me how to love myself better.
When I embrace solitude, truth is revealed.
When I embrace solitude, brokenness is restored.
When I embrace solitude, healing and freedom come.
So why do I resist?
It is a painful, transparent process. All masks come off, everything God sees, I can see. I can’t deny or pretend. I am laid bare before Him and because I love Him, my eyes and ears are opened to see and hear from Him.
I still have a long way to go and this is a deeper healing process than I have ever known. It is a place where I connect with God in such an intimate way. It is a road that leads to freedom in Christ that is transforming in how I think, live, and love.
I am incredibly thankful for a God who loves me deeply enough to put me in the place I need to be to embrace solitude.
Do you struggle with being still or embracing solitude in your life?
Seek God for opportunities to have that time of solitude. Pray against fear or anything else that would stand in your way. Learn to embrace solitude and allow God to permeate your being.