Tired of Trying by Ashley Morgan Jackson

Today I am sharing about one of my treasured reads from last year. This was a favorite for many reasons and I am going to share some reasons for this with you.

My friend Ashley shares about a hard, challenging, and painful season in her life. A season where like Jacob in the Bible, God calls her to a time of wrestling. She shares this comparison between her personal wrestling with the Lord, and Jacob’s all throughout the book.

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you have been living life, being the good Christian woman, doing all the things we are supposed to do, and being the one people go to and rely on because you have been able to play the part so well for so long, and then suddenly you hit a place where you just can’t do it anymore.

Ashley shares her personal story of coming to this place, where she had nothing left, and nothing left to offer. She was battling with spiritual exhaustion, struggling with internal pain, frustrations, and anxieties.

I read this book in the middle of a personal wrestling season. A season I am not fully through. As I read through this book, the words Ashley used to describe what she was feeling and even the acknowledgment of those times when words could not be found to describe those feelings, helped me feel like I was not alone in this place. As I read her words, I felt as though I was talking to a friend.

Ashley is honest, transparent, and real about the struggle and the wrestle, and at the same time gives hope and reassurance that God is there with us in it, and He will bring us to the other side to victory and freedom.

I was reminded of God’s love and faithfulness, and that His love doesn’t always feel good, or look pretty in the processes we go through in life. I was encouraged to keep wrestling with the Lord, and not give up. I was freed to be where I was and to give God those honest and real feelings and I was strengthened to not give up in the process, that there is another side, and breakthrough comes, even when it feels like it might not.

One of my favorite quotes in the book is found on page 107.

You can decide, despite how hard this season is, that you are going to press on and press through with the Lord. You make the choice to endure every time you choose to both look back at all He has brought you through and to look ahead to all He wants to do. Some days will feel easier than others, but you can still show up and choose to endure for God’s promised blessing.

I am thankful for God’s perfect faithfulness to me, even when people are not faithful. I am thankful that I can look back at what God has done in my life, what He has brought me through, and where He is taking me.

I am thankful God put these words into Ashley’s heart and spilled them into a book. God always gives me a book or two for the seasons I am in and Tired of Trying was one for this season. I am continually going back to it still. It is one of those books that I will keep in a special place to return to often.