Where Is Your Hope?

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My heart has been saddened to hear about another precious life, surrendering to hopelessness.

As I live my days on this earth, I become more aware of the despair that lingers around, like a dark cloud on a stormy day. It is somber and dreary, and pulls you into a place within that is oppressive and sad.

I find myself falling into the pit of despair occasionally. Depression comes in like a dark cloud ready to storm. A tug of war begins inside me. It is not an easy battle to fight.

I know I am not the only one. I see it on people’s faces every day. I hear it in their voices now that I can hear their tones and attitudes.

I hear sadness, I hear loneliness and I hear pain.

Hope seems like a rare find.

I have found that real hope. A hope that is steadfast, through whatever you are going through. It is a hope that dispels the darkness found in this world.

This year I found myself in a depression deeper than I have been in since after I had my babies. The hope I needed was only found in one person and in one place.

Jesus Christ.

I am still working through the battle, but thankfully I am not waking up everyday feeling sad and hopeless. There were days where I felt like I was trapped in this dungeon I could not escape. This can lead to some very dismal places in your mind and heart.

Many people get stuck there, and then they begin to feel as though their life is of no value, and life is not worth living. That breaks my heart, and I know it breaks God's heart too. Click To Tweet

I realized that this place I was in kept getting deeper, and to be honest it scared me. I have struggled with depression all through my life on different levels. Some of it was rooted in hormones and other times it wasn’t. I have learned the triggers, but this one took me off guard. However, as I look at life, it made sense. There was loss, grief, huge transitions as a mom, and in family life. Hormones come into play also because I am heading into mid-life.

It has been a perfect storm scenario for me.

I knew I wasn’t handling this on my own very well. So, I was faced with a choice. I could either isolate and slip into an abyss I might not be able to come out of or get stuck in, or I could reach out.

I started by reaching out for prayer. My husband was praying for me and is continuing to do that on a daily basis. I have certain prayer warrior friends I reach out to for those deeper needs to be prayed for, so I reached out. I made myself get out more and interact with people on a regular basis. I talked to older women and mentors, who have counseled before, but also those who have been where I am, and could share their experiences with me.

I was struggling to worship and praise God. I was angry at Him, and frustrated with Him. This was a hard thing for me to admit because I don’t allow myself to get to that place often, if at all.

It was important for me to be honest with God, myself, and my husband. Click To Tweet

Then I was faced with another choice. I could either draw close to God or I could draw away from Him. Same thing with my husband. I could pull away or I could draw close.

Would I let them in, or push them away and try to deal with this on my own?

I can say that one thing God has worked out in me in my hearing loss, is that I have a choice. I can isolate and give up because the work can be hard and painful, or I can push through, do the work, and persevere.

I choose to do the work and persevere. Click To Tweet

There are days where this is more of a struggle than others, but the small victories are always worth it.

I began praying if maybe it was time for me to find a Doctor and see if I needed some medicine as well. I pray that if you are feeling that is what you need to do, that you go and take that step, without guilt.

Breakthrough began to come, I pushed myself to praise God again, even though I was angry and frustrated. My husband’s covering is powerful, and my friends and sisters in Christ, have held my arms up in this battle. They still do.

The battle is still ongoing, and I am sure it will be on some level, until I go home to see Jesus.

I am sharing my stories with you because we need to talk about hard things. This is difficult for us as Christians. I think it was freeing for me to tell God how I really felt, and not worry that I would be thrown out of heaven, or lose some status.

God wants us to be honest, to work through our stuff, and live free here on earth, not just in heaven. That is why He sent Jesus! He is where hope is found!

As I battled and fought with the temptations to run away somewhere, I was reminded of past lessons. I am in the best place there is to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Satan wants me to believe that God is keeping His best from me, and holding out on me, just like he said to Eve. He wants me to doubt God’s love, and faithfulness to me. It was frightening to me how subtle it all can be.

If you are struggling with hopelessness, depression, or any kind of oppression, please reach out. Go see a christian counselor, a Pastor, a trusted friend, or a Doctor you can trust.

Most importantly, reach out to the One who loves you more than anyone could. Reach out to the One, where hope is found. Jesus Christ.

I am not a counselor. I am just someone who has experienced a struggle. If you need professional help, please pray about finding someone who is trustworthy and will lead you in the right direction for what you need.

However, if you want to talk about how you can have hope in Jesus Christ, I can talk to you about that. Reach out if you want to talk about that more.

This is my heart, as we begin to meet regularly, that you would not be hopeless, but that you would find true Hope. Click To Tweet

YOU ARE LOVED!

YOU HAVE A PURPOSE!

YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING!

WE NEED YOU HERE!

Heavenly Father, Thank YOU for loving us. Thank You for giving us Your son, so our relationship with You could be restored, and we can have hope. In Jesus Name! Amen!


10 responses on “Where Is Your Hope?

  1. Rose Boucher

    You are so amazing. This hits home for anyone who reads this. I admire you for being transparent during this time and allowing those around you to have the honor of lifting you up. What a testimony to others.

    Love you so much.

  2. Duane

    Psalm 139:7-14…
    “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,”
    Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.”

    David lived so many reasons to crawl inside himself and hide. Scripture reads David’s life as a constant roller-coaster; a life of blessing, turmoil, faithfulness, sin, joy and pain. Yet in his darkest moments some of the most beautiful words/songs were written in praise to God, knowing He was the one place he could find hope. That constant, unchanged source. We too, in our roller-coaster lives, can find that hope in God the Father, through Jesus Christ. Our lives and our situations do not determine who God is. As David wrote, there is nothing unfamiliar to God, nothing surprising, no place we can find ourselves that He cannot hear or see. No matter how deep within we hide ourselves He is there. And He is willing to pull us from that place and restore us.

  3. Dianna

    I’m sure MANY will sadly relate.
    Thank you for your willingness to share so deeply.
    I am especially encouraged that u continue to reach out, hang out, and seek prayer from others.
    My tendency, like yours, is to hole up when I’m not feeling my best-it is there the enemy has a field day with me.
    I too am learning to push thru. Intentionally seeking God and others to avoid that natural tendency. ❤️
    Love you Des!

  4. Flore Ida

    Just last night I was reading Oswald Chambers….it’s been awhile, but God drew me to this devotion for yesterday:
    “Jesus said there are times when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but you should trust Him. At times God will appear like an unkind friend, but He is not; He will appear like an unnatural father, but He is not; He will appear like an unjust judge, but He is not. Keep the thought that the mind of God is behind all things strong and growing. Not even the smallest detail of life happens unless God’s will is behind it. Therefore, you can rest in perfect confidence in Him. Prayer is not only asking, but is an attitude of the mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking is perfectly natural.” “Ask and it will be given to you…” (Matt 7:7)
    I see all the above in your honest revelation of your struggle…a struggle many people face at one time or another. And you’re right, sharing it, talking openly about it helps others to realize they are not alone…that others are walking this path with them,,,before them, behind them, next to them. Somehow, talking about it is a way of bringing it into the light and breaking the strangle hold it can get on us.
    So glad you are finding victory in this Des, and can share the hope of that victory with others!!

  5. Gwen Thielges

    Thank you for sharing your heart and for your honesty. You are right – we do need to talk about the “hard things” and encourage others that no matter what we are going through, Jesus Christ is our hope. Keep worshipping, writing, and seeking encouragement and help. This post will be a blessing to many!

  6. Charla

    Desiree…amen, sister. A-men. Jesus is The Way to freedom. God is our Refuge. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. The Church is our family. Thank God for making a way where there “seems” to be no way. Thank you for starting a hard conversation, but one that is sure to help many by nourishing H-O-P-E.

  7. Barbara La France

    Psalm 25:4 & 5 I was in need of a structured and simpler lifestyle.
    1. Fun
    2. work
    3. study
    4. prayer
    5. group interaction
    6. Solitude
    Seventh Day Baptist Camping Programs were a blessing!
    Now it is Prayer & Solitude focusing not on myself but on the Cross
    of Christ. work becomes fun, study is no longer work. simpler
    lifestyle Bless you for sharing with me.

  8. Gina

    Des, thank you for sharing the depths of your soul so to speak. So many people are suffering and you are doing your part to help and love others which is a command from our Lord. You are walking in truth and being such a light, even in your times of darkness. Keep sharing, Des! People need to know Jesus is the only answer! Amen! Love you!

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