I am a girl who loves deeply and is easily distracted. This happens in everyday life and in ministry as well.
I have a heart for God and for the people He loves. I have been in some deep pits in my life and I really did not have someone there to help me up and walk with me so this has become a passion for me.
God has given me places to serve Him this way and there is always an opportunity to love people.
Recently I had found myself in a place where I was feeling really weary and feeling out of sorts. I began seeking God to understand it all. I could sense God giving me some clear direction but it would mean some letting go and it meant spending more time at home alone in my writing.
Now I really love writing but for some reason if I am home too much or alone too much I start getting uncomfortable. Letting go and change has never been my strong suit either. So subconsciously, I ignored it.
I continued on my way, doing things the same way at the same pace. I continued to seek God on what to do. My friends were praying for me about what I should say yes to and what to say no to. I will assume I was trying to get God to give me a different answer.
I found myself feeling more weary, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. My struggles with depression came on like a tidal wave within me to the point where I felt like I was drowning in it without a life jacket.
My husband, being the loving and Godly man he is pulled me aside and had us work through it. I couldn’t figure it out or communicate much because I was feeling so much but not really understanding where it was all coming from.
Like always, God spoke through my husband in some powerful ways. As we were talking, we could both feel it lifting. After we had talked things out, I saw the confirmation of everything God had trying to be saying to me through my husband. It was incredible.
[tweetthis]God had already give me the sign and instructions for what to do next. I was just fighting him on it.[/tweetthis]
I wanted to understand why. God showed me that I have many fears, too many to talk about on this blog post and will have to save for another day. Change is hard for me. It always has been. I struggle with transitions and letting go. I am learning to do that better as my children get older but it is completely flesh dying for me.
I felt like I had been like Jonah and instead of being thrown in the fish, I was thrown into a place where I had to look at things and be redirected.
My husband is helping me to stay accountable to changing what I need to so I can be doing what God wants me to be doing. I am incredibly for a man who loves me this way and for the way God speaks through my husband to me. It is a gift!!
Have you been seeking God on something in your life? Has he given you the sign and instructions you asked Him for? Are you moving in the direction He is calling you to go?
I pray that He makes your way clear and that you walk in it! It is the only way that leads to the life He wants to give us.