I started going to youth group in six grade but really didn’t think anything of it, it wasn’t until seventh grade when I actually decided to listen and understand the messages. Towards the end of my seventh grade year I decided to get baptized.
After I got baptized I thought my life was going to be perfect, but that was where I thought wrong. I got into pornography when I was in six grade and that was something I wanted to leave under the water when I got baptized.
I just assumed that my urge for every evil deed would go away after I got baptized. Shortly after I got baptized I got a boyfriend. Now I already knew that lust was an issue for me so I was taking this relationship as an opportunity to choose God’s will over mine. But that didn’t happen, I stopped looking at pornography for a few months but then went back to it. Also my relationship wasn’t helping because I was putting my boyfriend in God’s place and our relationship was not based on Christ Christ was not the foundation and just a few months ago we broke up.
During the relationship I knew things were starting to get bad but I didn’t want to stop it because I was getting satisfaction out of it. I knew God was nowhere to be found in the relationship but I didn’t want to stop because I thought we had it under control and I didn’t think that we need God in order to have a successful relationship.
When we broke up I was far far from God so it was a very difficult situation for me to handle. At first I was devastated and I was angry with God and confused as to why he would let something like this happen to me. But I knew that this was in God’s plan because through this break up I have grown so much closer to God and our relationship is stronger than ever. I find so much peace and comfort in him and I don’t need a boyfriend to fulfill those needs anymore.
Sometimes God has to put you through trials and tribulations in order for you to realize something or an order for you to obey and or come to God. God always takes a bad situation and turns it into a good one. I’m currently doing a breaking free Bible study with a few girls in my youth group and my main goal is to break free from pornography again.
I now know that having God as close to my side as ever I can overcome this and also help people who are struggling with this. My favorite Bible verse is Ephesians 5:14 “wake up sleeper, rise from the dead in Christ will shine on you”. I love this Bible verse because this is what happened to me, I open my eyes and saw what I was really doing the person I had become and it wasn’t until then that Christ light was able to shine on me and change my life forever.